Sick sick sick

This will be a short but sweet. Would appear the drugs they encouraged me on, despite my instinct saying no, has caused me much more harm than good leaving me in twice the angony than before and double the problems. I won't go into detail, but today, aside from the agony from the problems, I had nurses and doctors inflict more pain with tests that just weren't needed.

Thus, I shy away from the blog scene for a bit till I'm well again and able to create beauty instead of focusing on the illness.

I hope all are well though!

Love
Jody

My block was swifly cleared thanks to some movie therapy provided by my partner. We went to see Zombieland, released in cinemas here in Australia just yesterday. We followed closely with the new Twilight New Moon movie. Zombieland was a classic, catering to all the fantasies I've ever had about zombie movies. New Moon though? This one get's its own paragraph!

I was not impressed. I don't get why she picked a pasty blood sucker that abandoned her, hurt her, and wasn't there to save her when she needed it. Was he there chasing the bad vampires? Watching her back? Nope. And did I mention he sparkles? She could have had that lovely wolf boy, who was ALWAYS there to protect her, comfort her, and he was so much more fun and in tune with nature. Did I mention he didn't want to eat her when she cut herself?

I would have picked the wolf boy. But if Jake hadn't of picked up the phone and told vampire sparkles that she was dead, then he would never have gone to kill himself, and she wouldn't have left wolf boy! Wolf boy could have won and had her!

Has anyone read the books? I haven't, but I'd love to know if she ends up going back to the Wolf or staying with the Bat. I hope she picks the Wolf, he's such a lovely wolf.

Anyway, I got my inspiration back, but am busy brooding, will probably get into writing and see how that goes :)

I had some fun with a pony design for a friend, it's featured above, and also at Austitch and I'd really appreicate ideas on other sayings to go with the horse. In fact, any ideas for cross stitch would be great! I'm running low on that at the moment.

Hope you're all having a grand weekend!

No Mojo

I just can't find my mojo. I listened to a song today, and it got me revved and pumped to draw and paint. But now I'm sitting here trying to turn my drawings and paintings into cross stitch, my inspiration has left me and I feel frustrated that my art has been lost in the translation to cross stitch.

Work is slowing down, and as I get more pregnant, my capabilities continue to shrink. Give it a few more months, I won't be able to perform any of my old duties, the spaces are too confined for my belly to fit, and I won't be able to sit as low as required and actually get back up or bend over as an alternative to the sitting. Yet, despite my company knowing since I was 6 weeks pregnant, they STILL haven't even arranged a replacement for while I am on holidays.

I've made a few more motocross designs and some horse ones if you look at Austitch. However, I've found that whilst the inspiration was pumping through me for the last couple of days, it has all but evaded me now that the weekend is here! In fact, I feel like I'm having a total blank! I can't write, I can't draw or paint, I can't create cross stitch, nothing! Perhaps I need to have a nap!

I felt baby kick from the outside for the first time. It was a weird yet amazing feeling. Most mums to be or mums talk about the bonding of feeling the baby move, but I haven't felt any more bonded to it. I've always been pretty easy going in life, and trust the little one is ok. Instinct will tell me if something is wrong.

Motocross obsessions

My partner is a mechanical freak. He loves his cars and his bikes, but most of all his bikes. Road bikes, dirt bikes, quads, you name it he own them! In addition to his HZ ute here in Perth, he probably have 4 other cars spotted around WA and SA Australia! Then he has his dirt bike, and then his road bike, and then the 2 quads at his parents house! He just LOVES his toys!

But I have fallen in love with them also, and whilst my dream of learning to ride bikes was put to rest when I fell pregnant, there's nothing I enjoy more than heading out and watching him ride.

My featured pic with this blog, is of a rider. It's a pattern I've been working on for a few months on and off.

To update you all on yesterday, I ended up going to work and finding paperwork to do all day. The hospital and antenatal clinic were about as helpful as an extra big toe and so were the regular doctors, no appointments, tough, go into early labor, we won't squeeze you in. To say I was upset was an understatement!

Today, I'm no better, so I'm at home, waiting for my docs appointment and then off to work! Not looking forward to the docs, as the tests they'll want to run will hurt. But that's life I suppose.

The puppy has eaten more plants, but thankfully, no more chickens! I still have 3 hens! yeeey!

My store is at a standstill at the moment, I've put up a few new patterns, and have been thinking about putting up some more risque designs. Trying to decide if I should or not, don't want to put off my regular clients!

Sick again - will I be fired?

When I say I've had a lot of time off work for baby, I mean it. I don't know if there's much difference between public and private here in Australia, but your chocies are limited. And my employer, well they make no effort to hide that my pregnancy is just one big problem for them.

The director of the company has been fairly understanding, I haven't heard a peep from him, and when I have seen him about my issues, he's been fine and accomodating. But my indirect supervisor, previously mentioned in the blogs, he is just as difficult. Making me do his work that he is too lazy to do, then giving me the option of working with Uranium or Organics instead of doing his supervisor jobs. Of course, with a choice like this, I go with doing his supervisor jobs for him. I keep quiet about it, because it isn't worth the fuss at work. I have to work side by side with him full time, and upsetting him will only make things worse. So I take it on the chin and hide the pain he causes me.

My boss, my supervisor/metallurgist, he doesn't talk to me as much anymore. And my client, whilst trying her hardest to hide that she doesn't like how much time I'm having off, still gets grumpy when I do come back to work. But my pregnancy is a complicated one, or so I've been told.

I am prone to Urinary Tract Infections. I've dealt with up to 4 every 6 months since I moved to Australia. It's a way of life for me now, dusted with painful days on end stuck on a toilet in a mental state of a headless chook, almost like a paniced state. But now I have more to worry about than my Kidneys. I have a baby to worry about. I'm over half way there, but UTI's, especially ones as severe as I get, can cause early Labour. I'm fearful for our little one, and so am biting the bullet and seeing a doc today. They'll prescribe meds for me that I'll have to stay on for the rest of the pregnancy, but if it means keeping the little one safe, I'll do it.

So I'm stuck at home again, wondering if I'll get fired, because this is now, my first day without pay. It sucks, but it's life. Work must have had enough of me by now. But perhaps they only hold on to me because I'm the only trained staff member for what I do. And it pains me, because they've taken over 21 weeks to find a replacement, they've known I'm pregnant, they've known all of this, and still, they put the weight of responsibility on my shoulders because they don't want to spend the money training a new person.

I'm thinking about going to work, but I'm just not sure. I'm afraid of hurting bubs.

Long time no talk

It has been such a long time since I wrote last! I don't know where to begin.

I am now almost 21wks pregnant, over half way there. I've had some complications along the way, but none of dampened our enthusiasm or confidence in preparing for our baby.

I have begun to dedicate more time to my arts, and thanks to recent sales at Austitch, I've started working on new designs instead of just doing my personalised works for clients.

My partner will now begin his journey to fly in fly out work. In Western Australia, this is a popular method of work, where folks fly out to a remote mining site to work. They live on small camps that have single bedrooms. If you're lucky, it has an ensuit, but often you share bathrooms with others. You are fed and work long days for, most commonly, 2 weeks at a time, then fly home for 1 week. The money is very good, but only a special breed can handle that kind of lifestyle. Even more so a family that can deal with having their partner away for most of the year. But we're hoping, through FIFO, to provide for our baby and give it plenty of at home parenting.

I want to begin a new journey myself, a whole new beginning, when baby arrives. I want to begin a new career, away from the scientific one I was once so driven all my life to be. A career as a mother and artist. I'll probably never contibute as much as my partner to the home financially. Arts just don't pay well, but I'm hoping to contribute something financially.

So I guess I should talk about my feature piece. This is my bushfire cross stitch work, modified from my photographic work. I got a great response about the photo at the Hillarys markets here in Perth, and so decided to turn it into a cross stitch. As always, you can find it in my store. Have a browse, let me know if you have any great ideas!

Cross Stitch Blanks

OMG, I've hit writers block! ARH! I've got nothing for designs, nothing for writing, and nothing to actually work on the cross stitch I have! Could it be that the seperation from my loved one has got to me? Or is it this new found pregnant brain, where I drift into day dreams without realising, or just forget what I'm doing completly?

My sleep was consumed by weird and wonderful dreams that made little sense in some places, but completly expressed my feelings towards some people in my life. My hormonal mind has been given a new lease on life so to speak! I stand up for myself more often, but perhaps in the wrong way.

I have a supervisor at work, he isn't a very nice chap. Yesterday, he told me the only reason I'm guaranteed to leave work was because I was 'knocked up'. I responded with that I was stoked that was why, because I was really looking forward to being a mum, I couldn't wait, and it was better than leaving my job for another job! Mum is the ultimate job! So.... he shrugs and says casually "well I guess I know plenty of single mums that are making ends meet on the pension", and I stop dead in my work. "What do you mean?" He says to me "Well whose to say he won't run off after you have the baby? It's a reality you need to face you know, he might just not stick around" and I choked up and felt like crying right in front of him and calling him all manner of names under the sun. "He wouldn't do that, he's a decent man, and what would you know about our relationship?" "Come on, how long, how long have you been together for?" he asks matter of factly. "We were friends for a year prior to us turning our friendship into more, and as far as relationship goes, we've been together for 5 months" and I smile thinking of him. "See, you don't even know him, you don't know each other at all". I couldn't stand it any longer, so I stormed out of the room and spent the rest of the day picking on all his faults to make myself feel better. In the end, he got sick of me and asked "what is this pick on ****** day?" and I said "yeah it is, you don't tell me things like that and think I'll be nice to you, that was a horrible thing to say".

His cousin happens to work with me and is a good friend, and she backed me up, but honestly, what kind of a thing is that to say to a pregnant woman whose man has been working away for 16 days already with another 22 to go before he can come home? It was most upsetting, and made me feel just awful. I know we haven't been together forever, but we love each other deeply, and are both so excited to be expectant parents. The way I see it, is we don't make the rules, something else does, and if it was time for baby, it was time for baby, and we both feel very lucky to be given such a gift. Rotten man.

Aside from that, I have a puppy that is being a royal pain in my backside because he wants to go out back where the baby hens are, so he can eat them like he did my bantam, and he won't stop scratching on the door to be let out even though I'm telling him it isn't going to happen. He's wondering from the front door to the back asking to be let out. Lol. Poor puppy. I taught him a trick the other day! Very proud of myself and him too! :)

Much love to all,
ausititch
www.austitch.etsy.com